Apakah...? ;-)

Achoooo3X!! Alhamdulillah....tu dia terbersin tiga kali masuk sini.... Apsal la rumah sebegini santek dibiarkan bersawang? Ish ish ish ish...sapalah tuan punye rumah ni? Kok ye pung banyak rumah, jangan ler sampai tak berjenguk rumah yang kononnya, once upon a time, where the heart dwells... ekekeke! Dulu, katanya, kalo tak masuk sejam dua sekali boleh meroyan. Rupanye, dalam tak masuk jenguk jengoi intai bagai, lagi bertambah meroyan...*perghhh...

Takpelah, bagi masa sikit kat tuan tanah tak berbayar cukai ni rehat selama mana dia larat. Biar kembang sana sini. Biar berisi tak lagi macam lidi. Biar lena selama suka dibuai mimpi. Bila tiba detik dan ketika nanti, datanglah ia menyemai budi setahun segunung intan...*perghh lagi!

Weh....apa I tulis ni?

Oooo...I miss blogging! 

The Longest Word With Only One Vowel!

The other day during dinner, there was only MyC and me eating our nasi lemak quietly. Always, at times like this, the silence just killed me. My seemingly cool attitude finally faltered when I looked up at MyC and suddenly blurted a taboo question.

Me: Girl...are you ok about Shah Alam?
MyC: *shaking her head* Noooooo....
Me: Mummy too...

And a Kleenex moment ensued. We both cried. Giggled...then cried. Giggled and cried. But nasi lemak tasted even yummeh, so, we ate!

I know, we're a silly mother and daughter bunch but we can't help contained our brief (I hope), sadness when MyC has made up her mind to further her studies in UiTM Shah Alam. We were at first elated when she got a place in KM Pulau Pinang which was, like, ten minutes away from our house. So now it is about time for MyC to be on her own. Six years ago, she was an eager student to do things her way when she enrolled in MRSM Langkawi only to back out when her home-sickness was over-whelming. She lasted only two-weeks there and returned to her old day-school. And from that day onwards we are inseparable. I waited for her on everything and watched her grow before my eyes...

This time, it will be different. This is her calling and she has to be ready...er...mummy too.

Now...if there's anything I needed the most and lots, then it has to be STRENGTHS!


Have a nice weekend, you all!


Lots of love,
Lili

After All These Years...

Today, many years ago, marked a new chapter in my life. I got married...hiks!

Alhamdulillah...I never thought I could make it this far. I know, I have not been the wife he expected me to be although many times, without asking, he seems to read my mind and tell me that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him. I laugh to that a lot! And I still laugh (but believe in him, anyway!) when he says I am beautiful, and goodness, even when I'm a mess at times. He compliments me not when I look exquisite from the moment I step out of my room with my casual attire of blouse and jeans, and hair all tied back in a pony tail. But it had to be that moment when I'm caught off-guard especially when he finds me poring over a book, or writing this blog...hikhikhik..when the messy me is so obvious with my hair flying everywhere to the fan's movement; and the disheveled me is suddenly far interesting than the immaculate one! 

But...I hurt him a lot.
Looking back, I can't help but wishing things would be different then. At least for me. He, I think, is happy to be married to someone he pursued so hard. That someone is still me.

Happy Anniversary to myself and my other half ;-)

Ramblings...

Hi guys! I'm back again but don't know how long I'd stay... 

Almost every weekends saw me attending weddings and assisting in overseeing the smooth sailing of a few ones. This has been going on since early of the year. Yesterday, and the past three days, was no exception especially when it was a third cousin's - distant but close enough - wedding. All week long I shuttled from my house to my aunt's helping in whenever possible. And today I can sit back and relax and doing things I love doing like writing again..hiks

This not-so-quiet afternoon - well, parts of the house is under renovation...and with the banging and drilling of the walls could drive me insane for awhile...hehe - I find myself a little bit emotional (yeah right, like I'm not always there!) when I realise I had forgotten that one important date last week when I was really busy. Maybe the date escape me but the thoughts has never left me...everyday. May Allah bless Bapak's soul and place him amongst the righteous. There are days when I long for his consoling words when my world is falling apart. The same old line plays inside my head..."if only Bapak was here..." . And today it has to be..." I feel like crying..if only Bapak was here..I'd turn to him and bother him with my nagging headache.." Yes, the smallest of things even, has to be reported to Bapak!  I could almost hear Bapak says, " Laa...ingatkan apa...But ok..I'm coming now...". Like the old days, he used to put up for a few nights at my house whenever I complained about being sick and that I was sad for nothing. That was the least he could do for us...all four girls of his. Still his babies even though we have families of our own. And when we lost kak Nyah, he was the most affected. The daughter he loved so much was gone and many times on kak Nyah funeral, he whispered in her ears as if she heard him: tunggu Bapak di sana...   
Al-Fatihah to both of them.

Oh, did I digress? I hope not. Oh, really...I am sorry, I have been rambling again. But I miss Bapak so much.

Please excuse me, guys..while I cry...

Just Passing By....Again?

It has been a long time. I know. A blogger who used to write frequently and now realizing she needs to clear her mind, goes into hiding only to find herself in deeper water in a place called 'old times'. 

But I'm missing this place like I have always been missing before every time I take a long leave from writing. There is something about this place. Nostalgic is one. I'm thinking of looking ahead instead of looking back but the old times seems to dominate my mind. Old times and old friends.

Everything here has portrayed the wrong side of me. I'm looking for myself..still. Where has that cheerful girl gone to?

I. want. her. back. 
Please. tell. me. do. you. want. her. back? 

(Pic: Google images)

Interlude...

When a throbbing headache gets you and a Bad Day song follows inside, it's a perfect recipe for brewing a migraine...

MyC and Me

With MyC out of school, my life has somewhat returned to a full swing of that not-so-normal-life routine. Some mornings I simply throw myself back in bed, snugly under the covers until my head becomes heavy with over-sleeping. Sometimes it is back to that morning person with hot brewing coffee to start my day with. Always the chirpy me when I have company some more, or it could be those staring into emptiness episodes when no one's around. But life has certainly treated me well. 

 MyC, in one of our many shopping trips together...and she is

one serious buyer...

Almost one whole long year that 2011 was. I have been cooping indoors a lot when the exam year began. MyC refused to go out even on weekends that it grew inside her to this day, to stay at home rather than ushering the new day outside the perimeter of our house. Unless of course, if her peers come a calling or they have places to go.

December saw us leaving the house more often than we could have planned. There were always weddings to attend, movies to watch (though I strongly am against this!) and family gatherings to look forward to and of course, shopping, shopping and more shopping. And I declare myself broke each time I hoard something on the impulse. Getting reimbursement from hubby dearest is quite a task...hehe....claiming half of what you had paid is plain stupid. No wonder my account tak tally langsung...ekekeke!


And then, there is plenty of eating to indulge. Stuffing myself silly until my jeans stays nicely around the waist when other times last year it was always dropping down my hips. Then again, they wouldn't call it drop-hips for nothing, no? But I digress.
Some company I have here with MyC is all about eating at the wrong time. Breakfast becomes brunch and hi-tea treated as dinner. Midnight snacks that has been omitted from my vocabulary a long time ago, now befits our routine. But, every time I gloat about my eating habit and chances of putting on weight, my system just proves otherwise by flushing down everything that I've consumed when some choice of food does not meet its approval And my wasted self lay ruefully till the pink of health comes around.


January has just kicked off for me. I find myself a lot to love about KL. I was there a few weeks ago and was back again last week. Days like these, alone in the house, I long for my family's company again. Only now, it is all convenient because what I have to do is just nudge MyC and off we go to anywhere our hearts desire. Like I said before, if it is family, it is always the best party in the world!


Have a nice weekend, guys!


Lots of love,
Lili...

"The Girl With The Curls"

Dear friends and gentle readers,


What you are about to read here is an email from an old friend, which I received a while ago. The only old friend who came to know about my blog! I thought, some write-ups that as good as this, worth a mention in my blog, and with his permission, I am sharing it with you guys here. I must say, what has been portrayed about me, flattered me in a way. But then again, it is from a point of view of a person whom I thought I would never crossed path again.

In honouring my friend, Z, request, his write-ups will be at it is. No editing and correcting is allowed. And to you, Z...thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 


Friends forever,
Wan

pic: from google

The Girl With The Curls

And her name is Emily. I would have gotten to know about her more, but fate was an envious beast that spared me not the chance. It was later in our twilight years when we crossed path again and renewed our friendship in the most bizarre way. There she was, still a girl so shy, modest and reserved..demure..

Emily as I have known from our past, is a perfect doll. who keeps her emotions to herself. Dwelling partly between the fantasy of her world and the world that you and I exists. Hers is a world of perfection, fills with love, sincerity, romance and beauty. A place where only a few have the privilage of going and she often return as a person who lights up others and brings joy to everyone around her.. resembling one famous icon of yesteryear, she is but like a candle in the wind.

Emily is best portrayed as a girl on a swing, in colourful floral dress, under an oak tree across an open green field of tall grasses and scattered yellow daffodils. Her curls glistening in the sun and swaying gently from the brushes of the afternoon wind. Her mind is always fills with hopes of a better tomorrow and the yearn for the lost yesterdays.

Emily, is gentle and kindhearted creature. Longing for love and desperate for attention from those who loved her. A potrayal so deceiving yet tells so much. Always a little girl that tries so hard to escape the clutches of womanhood and responsibilities. Enduring so much and yet strong enough to abstain the feeling of loneliness that binds her. Friends, they be around, but the loneliness of her heart, one can never fill. And often her moods are depicted by what the day brings. 

 Emily, the girl with the curls, whom I finally come to know, who gives me hope and tenderness, inspirations and guidance from the obscurity of her own prison.

Thank you to my Princess of Dreams and Hopes..

..for I will always cherish those times with you..

andraman19012012

"Sipi-sipi" Entry, No More!

My recent 'sipi-sipi' posting was not intended. On that fine Wednesday, when I was mending my cold in bed, I had this urge to check on my blog-roll and to blog-hop. Then it occurred to me, why not I update mine instead? But ideas were looming somewhere but here, so I resorted to use the pictures I took while on my way home from 'everywhere'..breaking my trip in Ipoh and rushing right after Subuh prayer just to be in time for a friend's farewell do. I did not make it, though. I was damn tired and sleepy from the travelling from weekend to weekend.

The 'sipi-sipi' posting also carries a message... It's a telling that I'm still around, insyaAllah...and Alhamdulillah... and masyAllah, I would have never dreamt whatsoever, of adopting 'invisible' as my middle name. Well, some folks do and find it pretty cool...yeah, pretty pathetic, actually.

Anyway...

The whole house looked drab as I stepped inside. Three consecutive weekends being away from home and a thousand and one things to settle in between the weekdays, had had me neglected this cozy abode. A place I normally find so hard to be apart suddenly come easy as December 'dragged' me everywhere. Suddenly, the need to liberate this ever funny feelings within, and most of all when I just "have had it up to here" *flailing my hands in the air and levelling one upon my nose macam ler korang nampak!* A gesture, meaning, 'I'm suffocating'! That left me with one choice; and travel, was the choice and be part of my big family company wherever they congregated. And it was all in December...


December 2011. December, no matter what year it was, it had to be the same. December, they say, is a depressing month. But I took my misery away from all that December has to be. Again, I hate to elaborate... At last, December brought me closer to me and I made peace with myself.

Home again from all the hectic schedules is a bliss. I can now sit back and relax. The house is cheery macam tuan dia. The kitchen wafts with endless aromas of home-cooked meals, again. And life has never been better.

O oh...but there's something missing...

I miss sending MyC to school!

Finding Words On The First Wednesday 2012...

...is still not easy. But this void must be filled even if it's for a short while. 

 The clouds over Kuala Kangsar at 7.20am

on my home from 'everywhere'...

Hoping for a ray of sunlight as morning breaks...

but low visibility greets us in misty Taiping at 7.30am

And I miss this place. Here.